Speed Thrills But Kills!

That is what flashed above me on an electronic signboard as I crawled my way through an almost stationary never ending queue of cars in the afternoon sun without an AC in my car.

What should've been a 20 second drive staying within the speed limit took more than 20 minutes of bumper-to-bumper driving in 48 degrees C heat without a trace of a breeze outside, just because some sadistic cop thought it would be great fun to convert an 8 lane road into a cramped 2 lane passageway by putting up barricades all over the place! I was actually hoping to see a car with an open hood (and the driver swearing at someone on the phone to come quickly) or even a wreck of an accident between a truck and a bus (in which no one got hurt except the flow of traffic) once I got to the end of that horrible traffic jam and was praying for anything but the barricades and an unmanned "CHECK POST", but Jim loves to play with me and that is exactly what I got. And I guess You put that cop there holding the gun and looking in the other direction just to make me feel better, as if it was actually important to have that CHECK POST which was there to supposedly look for some maniacal serial suicide bomber who escaped in broad daylight, never mind the mile long slow moving car exhibition (I could swear I saw a snail overtake me!) in the middle of the afternoon on a bright and clear sunny day, not to mention extremely hot and humid. Thanks a lot Jim, I thought you were just messing with me!

The bad thing about traffic is that you can't think straight. The other day when I was driving to C.P., there was moderate traffic and I was thinking about something very interesting but I lost that train of thought at a signal which turned red because the car in front of me wouldn't budge even when it turned green. That is the second most annoying thing in the world, the first being having a car breakdown in the middle of the road. There was this one time when I had the pleasure of crossing 5 of those very annoyed people on a two lane road, spanning only 3 km, in just under 30 minutes, and I'm not even exaggerating!

Anyway, I was late for a meeting which didn't happen because the person I was supposed to meet wasn't even there. Then, oh it isn't over yet, when I was making my over to meet someone else, the gear went limp! It felt like it was fixed to the base of a car with a chewing gum and would come off any second. I figured if it was supposed to happen, it would happen even if I was going home, so I battled with the gear and made my through more and more traffic in the burning heat, still cursing at that cop who put up the barricades.

By the time I reached home I was starving, my left foot was throbbing with pain because of all the clutch action coupled with the leather shoes I was wearing, I was dripping with sweat even though my shirt and hand-towel were already soaked, the car had clocked more than 50 kms, had a gearshift hanging on by sticky chewing gum threads and an empty fuel tank. In all, a very productive day since the other guys who had gone for some other meeting apparently struck a deal (for the record, they had a car with an AC and no traffic jams).

Points: -1 Billion points to whoever thought it was a good idea to put up barricades on that road today. You suck!!

-1 Million points to the person who actually put those barricades into place. You suck too. Have a little compassion for Jim's sake!

-1000 points to whoever gave us the wrong information about the meeting that never took place. You suck.

100 points to whoever made the chewing gum that is holding the gearshift in place. You stick!

One-Liner: When your car breaks down and it is a small repair, the mechanic has to remove the engine to get to that part.