Always works

Maggi with boiled eggs. Perfect comfort food. Always works. Well almost always. Day before yesterday just wasn't one of those days.

#end

P.S. - Photo is bad, Maggi was great.

Happy Days

Those were the days. I'm referring to the extended-training period at Infy. I've never had so much unadulterated unrestricted fun in my life! We would somehow wake up in the morning (at least me, if at all) and rush to class to catch the morning attendance. Then sleep through the rest of the day waiting for the clock to show 5 o clock. That was when the real fun began, the normal fun being chatting on messengers and playing games which were strictly prohibited. We used to go for a swim on some days, which were more popularly known as Swimming classes by Coach Sid (apparently I was the only one among the group who could swim well enough to show others how it's done). It continued for a while but eventually gave way to the pursuit of excellence in a game called NFS Most Wanted. We went crazy over that game. Especially me, Saurabh and Rachit. The three of us used to play it all day long. And thus began the Hostel Nights. Long hours of driving high-end cars running away from cops ending in lavish meals and late night movies and gambling through a fun game called flash and Bournvita and Jagjit Singh Ghazals at 2 a.m. in the amazingly awesome weather and what not. The 2009 edition of IPL only helped this cause further as the evenings bacame shorter and the nights longer. There were times when we used to try to study for the re-tests on the next day (all of us flunked in the actual tests :D as this part of the training was not evaluated, i.e. didn't matter if you failed or passed) but we usually ended up playing cards or NFSMW after 15-20 mins max of looking through boring slides.

After training came the postings and Saurabh and Rachit were posted to Pune before anyone else in our group. They were given just one day notice for packing up and leaving. We weren't complaining too much as this was supposed to happen sooner or later. They left the following evening, and the rest is history.

This post is dedicated to one of my dearest friends Rachit to whom I didn't even say goodbye thinking that I'll be seeing him in the near future anyway.

Miss you brother.

R.I.P.

Cheers! :)

Shit happens

Highly sleep deprived. Have been going back to my room "early" at night (OK earlIER than usual) thinking it's the only way to catch up on some much needed sleep. But as is the case with everything I do, whenever I want to do something it suddenly becomes the hardest thing to do. When I WANT to study (very very rare occasions I assure you) there is something completely different going on which I MUST do. When I want to sleep, I have these bouts of insomnia which are impossible to cure. I reach my room at 1 and end up watching TV till 4, and NO it's not because of the TV that I'm awake Mr./Ms. Smartypants, it's because I can't sleep that I have to turn it on hoping that something completely and utterly boring would put me to sleep but it usually gets interesting after a while. Sigh. I hate sleeping during the day because it just keeps me awake at night. Like yesterday, I went to sleep at 5.30, slept like a baby till 8.30, felt great, was on my way to the Gecko when I passed by Shilpi and she wished me all the best for my exam today with the kind of smile that just lights up your face. Studied for a while, went back at 1.30 and voila, no sleep! Tossed and turned till 4.30 and finally managed to fall asleep. Woke up at 6.30 feeling sleep deprived again. The handson couldn't have been better so I won't complain too much (don't think there's scope for any more anyway). Came back to class to sleep (the AC is on here and it's burning up out there. Who turned up that Sun?!) and surprise surprise no sleep. I thought I wouldn't even have to try to sleep in this place but now I know better. Sleeping pills here I come.

P.S. - Shilpi met with a terrible accident just after we met last night. She's still unconscious in the hospital :.(
Here's praying for a speedy recovery. Get well soon.
Please leave your wishes here.

**Update**

Shilpi was in the hospital for 4 days and has recovered fully now.

Lost

There were a lot of things I used to do on a regular basis which have now completely disappeared from my schedule of activities. Reading is something I miss the most. I had started reading 'The Day of the Jackal' by Frederick Forsyth barely a week before coming here and I'm still stuck at page 175 (I was at 154 when I left!). Part of the reason for that is my inability to sit in my room for long durations of time. I'm still using my room just as a place to keep my stuff and for performing activities related to maintaining basic hygiene. I sometimes sneak in a few hours of sleep as well. It is never occupied for more than 6 hours in a day (8 hours tops) on weekdays. Even when I'm there I prefer to channel surf or listen to music because by the time I reach the place the brain has usually given up and reading has become a highly complex task. I also miss reading the newspaper first thing in the morning. The first thing I do in the morning these days is curse myself for being late again.

I also miss following all my favorite sports. Cricket is a default favorite, we grew up on it (also I think that it is the only game I know inside out that's why following it is much easier). I don't even know when the matches are scheduled these days. But I don't miss it as much as Football. I haven't watched a single match from start to finish in the past three months. Oh the horror, the shame! Used to follow Tennis, Formula1, NBA and had just started following Golf (yes that's right, GOLF). The only thing I've been able to watch from start to (almost)finish is the final of the Australian Open, but I would rather not talk about it.

I used to have stuff to write about. I would just start typing a post in the middle of a very boring day or just a pick a piece of paper and start writing something. Nothing cheers me up more than writing down a few random paragraphs. I miss my old blog.

I miss my computer. It was ancient and in dire need of upgrades, but my dad thought I would just waste more time with it and my brother would not be able to concentrate on his studies (he was right). But I still loved spending hours on it doing maintenance work, organizing my Music Library (in excess of 2000 songs) and surfing the net at will. I miss limitless access to the web a lot.

I miss the weekends at home the most. Not that the weekends here are bad, but they were something else.

Get Set Go

Great start to the new year:

1 - Studied till 3 last night and forgot to swipe out. One more EL(Earned Leave) wasted
2 - Flunked today's exam.

The new year seems promising.

Corruption?

NOTE: This post was written following the horrible events in Mumbai. There was a discussion in the forums here which prompted me to post this.

The term “corruption” is always decorated as being associated with only politicians, police and other such people in positions of authority. It is not something that comes with the job or just a result of money and power being in the wrong hands. Corruption, like everything else, is human nature and goes with the flow.

Standing in the unending queue at the multiplex or at the food courts, you allow your friends to cut in line. To you that is not corruption, after all it’s just a movie ticket/food coupon! A trivial example but similarly, for the people whom we are blaming for incompetence and being “corrupt”, it is “just a job”, “just a transfer”, “just a bomb blast” or “just a few 100 human lives”.

They are what they are because we are what we are. We give them the power, the authority and the money to do what they do. We are as much part of the cesspool as anyone else, including the terrorists wreaking havoc across the world.

We have decided to keep going with the flow and they decided to do something about it. There isn’t a lot of difference between these approaches because they’re means to the same end.

I’m not trying to glorify their “efforts”, this is just another perspective.

Easier said than done, I know. That’s why I too condemn these attacks like everyone else. I go with the flow.

May the souls of the departed rest in peace.

Infosys - The awesome, the good, the bad and the ugly

After a tiring 6 hour journey (air+road) I finally reached my destination. I don't like air travel at all. But this place is so beautifully amazing, you have got to see it to believe it. There isn't a speck of dust even on the roads maybe because of the huge workforce that sweeps the entire place for every single particle. We (the guys) have been allotted single rooms of which the highlight is the Samsung LCD TV (all the girls are jealous of us, they have ancient flatrons). Its like a one bedroom flat without a refrigirator. Then there is the ECC (Employee Care Center) which is the best part of the campus. It has got TT, Badminton, Swimming Pool, Tennis Courts, Squash Courts, Pool & Snooker, Gym, Aerobics, Yoga, a Music room, Carrom, Basketball, Volleyball, Departmental Store, Bookstore, Saloon, Bank, Clinic and a few more things I can't recall right now. It is located adjacent to a four screen multiplex with a seating capacity of around 1500 people. And there is this place known as the Gazebo which I absolutely love. It's on a hill with bamboo plantations and a CCD outlet (wish smoking wasn't allowed). This was the awesome bit. And I'm getting paid to live here! Jealous already?

The good part includes the food courts and the room service. Anything wrong with anything in your room, just give them a call and it will be fixed immediately. The food courts serve a variety of stuff throughout the week, but everything has a South Indian touch to it. Don't get me wrong, the food is good and they make sure they serve you enough the first time so that you don't have to think about a second helping. Plus, we have 'home' delivery by Domino's and CCD's strewn all over the campus (and they are subsidised!). Also, the campus is huge and getting around means long walks or cycling (I like both). There are cycles everywhere, just pick one up and you're off.

The bad part is when you're competely exhausted and you have to cycle uphill. It isn't as easy as it looks, knocks the wind out of you. The next thing could be included in the ugly bit but that would just mean whining too much according to some people (Garima!). I have been allotted a newly consrtucted hostel in the extreme corner of the campus and it feels as if we are away from civilization. We don't have landline phones or air-conditioning for at least another month. Sometimes the water supply is stopped or the cable connection is not working. And it's uphill! There isn't a patch of greenery anywhere nearby and the french window in my room is always curtained because it overlooks the boundary wall. What a waste! And this is after I had specifically asked for a room in a different block (read pleaded). Guess what, shit happens! And I also don't like to go to faraway buildings for swiping in and out with our ID cards.

The ugly part is the queues. There are so many people here (thousands) that all I do somedays is stand in queue awaiting my turn to sign for attendance or get a recharge. We travel in queues and chunks of populace, from point A to point B, to do C or get our hands on D. And all that is left of my identity now is the pink card hung around my neck at all times (ALL THE TIME! except when I'm in my room) which carries my name.....errr sorry...my number. I have become a number now just like everyone else here. I guess that is how you manage a huge number of people. I absolutely hate having this thing hanging around my neck. It feels heavier than a 2kg gold chain with a peace symbol.

This week was spent in the multiplex but the screen was occupied with boring presentations about Infosys and everything in it, by evrything I mean everything. There were just on or two good sessions where we all got to shout and laugh but other than that we slept or listened to music or exchanged PJ's through messages. Old habits die hard! :P

Note: The frequency of my posts will further dip because using the Internet anywhere else except in your rooms (I don't have a laptop) or in the cyber cafe where I am right now is a punishable offence! Yes, the Internet!! I had started writing this post on Wednesday I guess and am completing it today, so you can understand how it is.

And I miss everyone at home and all my friends already, especially today. It's the weekend and I don't feel like going to the ECC (surprised?) but since there is nothing else to do will have to go there only. I also have to do my laundry today.

Will try and get photos somehow for the next post. I'm out of here. Later.

So long and thanks for all the fish

It's time. Tomorrow morning I'll be on my way to a new chapter in life. Hope it's good. My folks have been planning so much that it is bordering on unnatural behaviour. I have two toothbrushes packed in my bag!! My dad knows my luggage inside out and I'm not even sure about what all is inside. It's scary!

All my friends came over to wish me goodbye today. As Nandu would say, High point of the week! Thank you (in order of appearance) Yash, Nishtha, Varuni, Vishal, Vaishnavi, Piyush, Prerana, Saurabh, Garima, Aastha, Kritika and Nandita. I'll miss everyone and everything.

It hasn't quite sunk in yetOh well, time to sleep. Will be woken before 4 am in the morning so I think I should get the sleep. And wouldn't you believe it! My flight has just been preponed by 15 minutes. PREPONED! Does shit happen or what! I think it's a good omen, it's me after all, this kinda stuff is supposed to happen.

I'm sick

And I hate it. I've got high fever, nausea, cold, cough, stomach ache, acidity, insomnia and just about everything else you can think of. Simultaneously. And regular vomiting too. Although I have to admit that I feel much better after throwing up.

The worst part is that I can't eat. I don't feel like eating anything but I have to because of the medication. I regret it as soon as it goes down my food pipe because no matter what I eat it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. And the stuff my stomach can handle, or I want it to handle anyway, is forbidden (sweets and stuff).

My Mom is the best part about this phase. She takes care of me and never refuses any of my requests. My Dad on the other hand walks around the house with a thermometer in hand and insists on checking my temperature every five minutes (and he also insists on stuffing the thermometer in my mouth himself, he thinks I can't do it on my own). My brother is mildly helpful in the sense that he is not his usual obnoxious self.

This is the longest I've sat in front of my computer for about four days now. And now I think I'll go and throw up again.

Oh and Happy Diwali to all of you. Don't burst crackers, there's no point in it, just noise and smoke.

Whoa!

That came out of nowhere! I wasn't expecting it at all and had given up all hope. But it just walked into my inbox. I was caught totally unaware and off guard. 

This is what it said:

Dear Siddharth,

.

.

The location of your initial reporting and training will be Mysore, India. The date of your joining would be November 10, 2008. The location of posting would be communicated to you upon successful completion of training.

.

.

.

With warm regards,

HRD

Infosys Technologies Ltd.

(Yeah yeah it might be confidential information but I ain't afraid of you!)

This just freaked me out.  I mean I wasn't ready for this, AT ALL! Leaving all this behind and moving to the other end of the country is depressing. I wasn't happy at all, in fact I was kinda depressed. All my life I have been here and I love it, no matter how much I whine or complain. This is HOME. Family, friends, familiar faces, known places and everything else that makes it home. It's all here and I don't want to let go. 

But a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. I'm quite out of options right now and can't let this go as of now. This certainly has brought some excitement into my life all of a sudden. Living on my own isn't something I have done before and should be a good experience. New place, new job, new atmosphere and loads of things to learn. Plus I'll be employed and earning. 

But there are pros and cons to everything. All this doesn't change the fact that I would still prefer to stay here. So it's not decided yet. Something just might come up here. 

Blank in a blink

I actually have absolutely nothing to write about today. Because nothing happened during the day. Nothing has been happening for quite a few days now, since I left my "job". Now I'm sitting idle at home waiting for things to fall into place and get life back on track. 

Some people have told me that it was a bad idea at this time to quit the job without having anything else in hand. Actually, if you look at it practically they're probably right. But when I made that decision I thought I had something in hand and it's just a matter of time before I get there. I was looking forward to some time off to re-orient myself and relax a bit. Sadly that time period has been delayed without any notice and now I'm kinda stuck in the middle of nowhere. I still don't feel like going back to my earlier job because it was mentally exhausting and suffocating. It had reached a point where I didn't want to go on. Even the thought of it weighs heavily on the mind now. So that option is out of the question. 

Now I just have to wait it out. Patience. 

In the meanwhile I'm going to try and occupy my mind with something. It is pretty hard to do and becomes downright depressing after a while. But I have to try. Sitting idle isn't exactly going to help me in any way. 

I've been doing a bit of reading lately. Newspapers, online articles and yesterday I picked up The Afghan by Frederick Forsyth. I'm reading Forsyth after quite a while now. This one is more present day than any of the others I've read. It revolves around Al-Qaeda and their unimaginable plot to cause destruction of unforseen proportions. There are vivid descriptions of the recent wars and going by what is given in the book, war is a really nasty business. There are many battles which comprise a war, each more barbaric and deathly than the other. Chilling. 

The thing with Islamic terrorism is a misguided and very well-organised approach towards vengeance by a group of fanatical maniacal assholes who consider themselves to be the messengers of the Almighty and protectors of the faith. It is just this small group of people which are controlling the minds of millions of clueless and innocent lives and leading them onto the path of misery and destrution. Islam has many sections, some are liberal and some the extreme opposite for eg. Taliban. It is these extremist sections that are over-running the image of Islam to be a fanatical belief system according to which all other religions are blasphemic. The book has cleared up a lot of misconceptions I had and I'm looking forward to the rest of it. 

That's about all I'm looking forward to right now. The horizon is blank for now. 

R.I.P.

I was on my way to the office when dad called and told me to come back, my great grandmother had passed away this morning. She was 90 years old. I reached home, went to my grandparents' place to pick them up and then to my grandfather's brother's place where it happened. Needless to mention, traffic was horrendous and it was pretty hot too.

I remember meeting her a few times only. There is one very distinct memory and the other is not so distinct, the rest are based on what my grandma tells me. I remember her being very old and very very sweet. She wore thick glasses and a warm smile. I must've been 10 or 12 years old at that time. She was pretty healthy back then. I was showered with blessings and a big hug when I touched her feet. She had watched over me as I had lunch and ordered refills until she was satisfied that I had had a good meal. Another blessed shower and hug when I was leaving.

Today she looked really frail and almost beyond recognition. So much had changed in about ten years. This was the first time I had been to a cremation ground. The necessary rituals were performed and soon after she was at the pyre ready to pass through the pearly gates. There were moments when someone would just start crying and there were moments when everyone observed a solemn silence. The ladies had let out a huge wail when she was being lifted to be taken away and were generally in tears even when we got back from the cremation. I didn't cry but was really sad when the last rites were being performed. Gave me a new perspective towards life and it's importance to others around you.

It could just be my imagination but she still had that smile on her face.

Points: None.

One-liner: And she's climbing the stairway to heaven.

Black Saturday

Note: Long post

What was supposed to be a relaxing day off turned into a total put off. The day had gone by pretty smoothly, barring my car breaking down several times before I finally gave up and decided to take an auto-rickshaw, until around 6.30 when the call came.

It was my boss. He asked me where I was and if I was OK. He told me there were bomb blasts in the city and was just checking up on everybody. Everything just froze, including me. It was like running into a brick wall. Then there was this horrible vacuum inside me, what they call that sinking feeling. I was there just a couple of hours ago. Then I remembered that one of us had stayed back to meet another friend after all of us had left. OMG! I called her number again and again until the call was connected, the networks had jammed. Then she wouldn't pick up the phone! When you are hoping that nothing bad has happened, all the worst possible situations come to mind. Tried it a few times more then called the others to check if they had any information. They hadn't heard anything and were worried too. Panic is like a chain reaction, it just grows and gives you a headache.

She finally picked up or called back, I don't remember, and said she was fine. If it was any other day I would have shouted so much that she would be scared to pick my call next time. Then I remembered another friend had gone their with her family, but she luckily picked up on the first ring and was safe at home. With relief came the saddening news of the extent of the damage. My heart sank to new depths. I told a few people around me and they were obviously shocked. The puja had just started but I couldn't sit still. The panic hadn't subsided. I called some more people. I tried to sit down but couldn't. When there was no one left to call, I finally sat down. We were supposed to sing the verses from the book we had been given but I couldn't read beyond one line. It kept blurring and finally I gave up. Just sat there for the next two hours pretending to read and sing and I don't think I did a very good job of it.

I was actually observing the people around me. Especially the ones I knew to know about what had happened. Apart from the initial shock, there was nothing that could be put down as knowledge of such a thing. Maybe getting fully involved in the religious proceedings was their way of fighting it, but I highly doubt that. People have just come to terms with it. Bomb blasts are an everyday news to us. It's just a little more shocking when they are nearby and you think you could have been there too. I am an example too, I haven't written about any other occurrences in such detail either and I'm sure there have been plenty. We are the problem ourselves.

Until you experience it on your own, the gravity of the situation is not gauged. We blame the authorities for lack of security and proper measures to safeguard us from such mishaps and we crib about the little inconvenience that ensues due to those measures being taken and enforced. This can be put down to human psychology to an extent. But what can't be is the fact that operations of such scale cannot be undertaken without an internal hand. Where the money comes from and how it gets there is the stuff for conspiracy theorists, but how the money is used and what becomes of it is something we are responsible for.

This is an appeal to each and every one of us, we have to change ourselves first and then expect things to change for the better. You may get a hefty bribe from someone to let their cargo of smuggled goods through today, but it can come back to haunt you later like it did yesterday. Sure it was miles away from where you are, but is that any sort of solace? It could happen to any one, including you. How much money is a life worth? And we are talking about millions of lives here, unknowing innocent (at least not directly involved with the process) lives. The system is made up of all of us, so blaming it isn't a solution.

I faintly remember a line from Dan Brown's Digital Fortress, at least the idea behind it: "The guards will guard you from anything that comes in the way, but who will guard you from the guards."

May their souls rest in peace.

Home Alone 2

Day 2 of being alone was somewhat eventful. Unlike last night when I whiled away time and was super bored, today I didn't get time to get bored. Was woken up by a phone call from my dad and he really woke me up. He said that they were coming back, without taking the admission! That was even before they had reached the college and barely after they had reached the town where the college is. He didn't say much, just that they were coming back and they are not sending my brother to that college even if it was made of gold! Something bad must've really happened to change his mind like that. I mulled over it for a while then went back to sleep.

Again I was woken up by a phone call and was told to come for lunch with friends. We ate decent food at a new place and then fought over which movie to watch until all of us gave up and decided to go home. There was some bad news while we were on our way back and it just went downhill from there. I reached home and dozed off for an hour or so. When I woke up and switched on the TV there was some more really really bad news. More bomb blasts, in Ahmadabad this time. Bangalore yesterday and now this! Even hospitals were targeted! That is some highly depressing stuff. For the first time I was actually scared of stepping out of the house. There have been these kind of blasts before, even in Delhi, but I have never felt the way I did today when I was watching the news.

I did go out for an ice-cream and the streets were deserted, at 10 p.m.! Very strange indeed. I've been sitting in front of the computer since, chatting and writing this. All in all, not boring like Day 1 but I would prefer boring to this any day!

Points: -1x10^(10 billion) points to the assholes who think they can solve their purpose by committing such acts of cowardice.

Another -1x10^(10 billion) points to the same assholes for making the life of Muslims more difficult and shaming the Islamic community. NEWSFLASH: This is not how you make things better!! If revenge is all that you seek, then I would suggest extensive brain scanning and mapping to find out what happened to your common sense. You're not alone though. There are many more like you out there who will make their presence felt by you, most probably in the same way as you did.

The same number of points to the person who had the idea of God being a property to which only the people who endorsed a particular religion had rights to call theirs.

A special -1 gazillion points to whoever came up with the concept of life and death. We could really have done without the death part.

One-liner: "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." - Gandhi said this I believe.

Home Alone

My parents have gone to Guna (in MP) for my brother's admission into an engineering college. Poor guy will have to go through it too. I will miss him I guess, never thought I would until he was actually going away. So my family is on their way and I'm alone at home. I came back an hour ago after dropping them off at the railway station and on the way back I ran out of petrol! There was a diversion on my way back which made me go an extra kilometer or two and that is exactly by what I fell short of reaching home!! I huffed and puffed and pushed the car for about a kilometer and not one person on the road volunteered to help me out. Sad. Just when I was about to give up, an auto-rickshaw stopped beside me and the driver offered his help with a generous smile. I was so relieved. God bless his soul. He stuck his foot out and pushed the car from behind for the rest of the way. I couldn't thank him enough, also because I was going left and he was going straight ahead and I had to maintain the momentum. A big thank you to him.

Getting back to the situation at home. Basically it's nothing. They would be back on Sunday morning/night depending on the train they catch. Mom has prepared enough food to last me for at least two days. The maids have been given detailed instructions of which even I'm not aware of. My neighbours are very helpful and will keep offering their help for the next few days even if I don't need any, no offense intended. The only time I'll really be alone is when I come home in the evening, that too if I stay at home and don't go out with friends, or they might come over, who knows.

Should get ready to go to work now. I suddenly feel like watching the Home Alone movies again :P

Points: 1000 Jumbo points to the auto driver who helped me out. Thanks again.

-100 points to the people responsible for the diversion.

-1000 points to me for wrongly calculating the petrol-distance figure today. What if you had run out on the way to the station you jackass!!

One-liner: The best thing about staying alone is that you can do anything you want, the worst thing is that you have to do everything yourself.

Blah

All good things come to an end. Why? Why can't they become permanent? Why are there things that we can't control? It's all just a big scam.

You can't even get used to something good because it won't last forever. You're already used to the bad stuff and it isn't going to end ever. The good things will end but the bad things won't. No wonder good is always the underdog. We like happy endings because everyone loves an underdog story.

Not making sense, am I? Blah.

Later.

It happens.....

Everyone said it would happen. I was hoping that it would not happen. It shouldn't have happened. When it started it didn't look like it was going to happen. After a while there was a sinking feeling that it could happen. I couldn't watch it for the fear of seeing it happen. Then it started coming down and again things looked up and I was sure it wasn't going to happen. But it had to come down again and I was apprehensive again. There was a silver lining and I thought there was still a chance, just need to hang on. Alas, it happened and it happened so quickly that I didn't get time to react properly. There were tears of sorrow. There were tears of joy as well but it was just sorrow for me. The heavens had already shed a lot, in anticipation I'm guessing, so there were no more tears, just dim light that was fading away.

How great it would have been if it didn't happen! It would have been just the best thing to not happen in a long time. That is part of the reason why I wanted it not to happen. But it did. It shouldn't have, but it did. The moment has passed but the memory remains, and the pain just doesn't go away. There are people who laugh at me and say it was inevitable, there wasn't a chance of it not happening, but they know deep inside that there was a bigger chance of it not happening than there was of it happening. And they had their hearts in their throats when it looked like it wasn't going to happen.

At the end of the day, the only thing I can hold on to is that moment when it looked like it wasn't going to happen. And no matter what anyone says, if it hadn't happened everyone would have witnessed nothing short of God himself walking on the face of the earth. The aura has diminished, for now, but it shall shine again. All you need is to keep the faith.

And I'm not even talking about my poor old car which was stolen a few days ago.....

Points: -10000000000000000 points to the buggers who stole my car. may it break down after every mile you try to travel in it.

-1000 points to me for not updating the blog more often.

100 points to Nadal for winning Wimbledon.

10,000 points to Federer for giving him a helluva fight and for giving us a spectacle to remember and tell our grand-children about. The match of the century, too bad it didn't have the happy ending. We are all very lucky to have been able to witness the genius at work, i.e. Roger Federer.

False Freedom

Independence Day always tends to stir the Indian inside inside everyone. Apart from cricket matches, this is probably the most invigorating of occasions when we are delighted to say we are proud to be Indians. Republic Day comes in third place I guess, but that's not the point. Apart from these historic dates(days in case of cricket matches), there is hardly any evidence of "Proud to be Indian" slogans being showcased to the rest of the world.

There must be people who are out there who don't agree with me, but you don't have to. It's my point of view and I'm entitled to it. If you agree with me, welcome to the club! If you don't we can have a nice debate on the topic and discuss each other's point of view. But then you and I won't be Indians. We in India don't allow anyone to speak their mind as long as it does not support our point of view. If anyone does get the chance to speak their mind and it's against our beliefs, we try and make sure that it was his last chance and that he never speaks anything else ever again. This is how it is.

Someone paints something which some other people find offensive, so instead of just shielding their eyes and moving on they tear down the whole thing and threaten the artist in question and create a furore over it.

Someone writes something on how they feel about God and religion, some other people don't like what they read and so instead of turning the pages to something else they declare it unholy and blasphemy and threaten the author and create a furore over it.

Someone expresses his views on a subject concerning thousands of people's lives and some other people don't like him saying those things so they just go ahead and threaten the person and create a furore over it.

Someone decides not to take it anymore and do something about the stuff going on that shouldn't be, some other people don't like it at all and threaten him but don't create a furore over it because they decide to get rid of the "problem".

There are millions of other examples and most of us can identify with the ones mentioned above too. Generally the "someone" in question is just trying to express their point of view and don't intend any harm to anyone. The "some other people" refers to the mob that thinks they hold the right to decide right and wrong and punish those who are wrong. Also these are people who are in a position of some kind of control, power or authority. Furthermore, these people are the ones who are almost always wrong, but since we are talking subjectively about right and wrong, these people are the ones who almost always employ dirty tactics and ensure fairplay only in their favour.

Freedom to express oneself is the most important fundamental right. Without it, there is no individual. But that very right is supressed to the extent of choosing between 'what you think is right but can't say' and 'saying what you think is right but then can't live'.

This is the only reason why I admire America. In America, you can say what you want to say and get away with it. You can seriously criticise the leader of the country on national television(in India you can just make jokes about them, in some cases not even that!) and even get support. You can make movies about the problems your country is facing in which you mock the people who are supposedly running the country and expect the movie to open to packed theatres without any delays due to the film being under review by the censor board or due to any unwanted disturbances by "some other people".

We call ourselves a Democracy - for the people, by the people, of the people.
It holds true but the definition of people is screwed. It only refers to the "some others". You vote for a person thinking that he can do something(that is a rarity) or just because he is the lesser of two evils. Anyway, he wins! But before you celebrate, he goes over to the opposite side because that's where the power is concentrated. You can do nothing about it now.

We call ourselves Secular - not related to or pertaining to any religion in particular, i.e. to say all religions are treated as equal.
Far from it! Please don't even get me started on this topic. Refer to earlier posts.

We call ourselves Socialist - everything is divided equally among the people, the community as a whole.
Again the definition of people is being screwed. What community as a whole?! The whole country is being divided into communities that are being taught to fear and hate each other.

We call ourselves Sovereign - an autonomous judiciary that is not controlled by outside forces.
Might have been the silver lining because of the Supreme Court but the dark cloud of the rest of the system blots it out. Justice is like a flight delayed because the wheels are missing so it can't take off.

I could qoute the rest of the preamble for a laugh but this is enough I think. Took out most of my frustration, if not all.

To all those who want to remind me about the brighter side of things, I want to say No Thanks. Sure we are a developing country and we're moving forward and the economy is growing and blah blah blah etc etc etc, but what is the use if a person can't simply speak his mind about what he wants to?

Here's a little something for your birthday. I call it 'A nation at the feet of its people'.

Happy 60th Mother India!! One hell of a birthday greeting ain't it? ;)

College Death - Part 3

3rd Year: The holiday gloom carried over to college, I think. It was slow in the beginning and picked up only when magazine work began again. I was going through a rough phase personally. There were new additions to the "group" but mainly it was just one guy who became a very good friend in a very short period of time. I got bad marks, compared to previous sem. Just before exams, we(everyone) were faced with a huge shock and a great loss. These exams were the most difficult to give by far. It was so hard for me that I can't even imagine what it would've been like for them who suffered this personally.

There was a conflict of interest, so to say, between the president of Lingua Franca and all of us. It wasn't pretty but we sorted it out. We couldn't get any sponsors for the magazine. The college arranged for a printer who turned out to be a fraud when we got our hands on the copies. But the second issue was better than the first. Some consolation. Nothing much had changed in this sem. Same Mass Bunks, same everything. But I can't say it was all that bad either. It was a sem to forget because there isn't much I'd like to remember. Except for getting a job maybe.

Sixth sem wasn't as bad as any of the previous ones. Apart from the frustration that resulted due to the administration's crooked ways regarding the magazine, which were later rectified to some extent, it was pretty OK. I mean I got another job and nearly would've had a third one too if I'd given the interview and things were looking up. Exams are always a horrible time and they've been documented well enough previously. Holidays were....errr......are still boring but not as bad as any I'd faced before. Training was just an excuse to get out of the house and training wassn't that bad either. But still nothing to write about. Then there's CL and preparatioin for CAT.

All in all, it can be considered the best year so far. Now if only the result shows up! I'm sick and tired of waiting for it. What the hell are they doing with it?!! UPTU sucks! And if you ask anyone from my college you won't get a different opinion.

Coming up.....College LIFE :) Yes there are traces of life that can be found on this alien destination.

College Death - Part 2

I don't remember much about the holidays after 1st year. Although there are a few things I missed out about first year. I visited the hostel a lot and used to play TT there too, whenever there were enough bats around to play with. I came to know about the "college mafia". It included seniors(?) who kept failing and were surrounded by followers of the same kind. There was no Fest in the college because there was a shooting(guns) incident in the college because of some obscure gang-war I suppose. Also, the end sem exams were postponed because all the papers had been leaked! This was turning out to be a nightmare. And the mass bunks were the icing on the cake, or was that the cake and the rest of it the icing?

I was beginning to wonder why the college was considered a top-notch institution? What was so special? There is nothing in the name of extra-curricular activities on the inter-college level, the standard of teaching is disdainful, the hostels are sad, sports facilities - what are those?, parking space looked like the site of an excavation(most of it still is, atleast for the students, the faculty has it better), mass-bunks for no apparent reason other than "not in the mood", that engulfed the entire population of the college for days, the "mafia" and finally no steps for improving anything anywhere in sight. The administration is dormant on all issues except the ones regarding the money going into their pockets. "Why O why did I leave DU for this hell-hole?", was my favourite line then.

2nd Year : The first bad thing that happened was the shifting of the few good friends in my class to other branches because they had got good marks and Electrical was just too much to handle. I couldn't shift because I didn't have that kind of marks and I had a Back to my name. Ah well life goes on. I became better friends with the like-minded people I mentioned before. I had also joined Lingua Franca, the literary society - the only purely non-technical one in the college, in the second sem. But since now I was a 2nd year, things changed and it seemed to be the only whiff of life for me in the college. The magazine idea came into view and that helped a lot. Also I had a new and improved group of people to hang out with and our favourite spot was the flag post a.k.a. FP. It's the front part of the main building with two wide corridors with pillars and ample seating space. Mass bunks were at an all-time high, or so I thought. Everyone seemed to want to have a mass bunk because the classes were no good, and even if they were, we were now so used to bunking all the time that attending classes seemed to be a herculean task. Everyone was chilling. Studies were at an all-time low. I was enjoying just one subject and hating all the others.

Third sem came and went. Nothing much happened as usual. I was hanging out with the "group" all the time, not studying, just making "plans" to watch movies and watching loads of them. There were ofcourse a few conflicts of interest and of other things among the people of the group. Long and lengthy arguments on the phone and via messaging, silent treatments, bitching et al. I was usually in the middle, listening to both sides as I avoid conflicts as much as possible and if provoked beyond tolerance, prefer the silent treatment. It was a tough time mentally.

Fourth sem had a few surprises. There was a Fest if you can call it one. The budget was less then one student's annual fee and no other colleges were invited. It was a three day extragavanza(!!!! how I kill myself hahahaha) for most of the students as they decided to head home because officially there were no classes(like there are any otherwise) and well it was a waste of time to attend the "fest". I'll be honest and say that it was much better than I'd expected. The other surprise was that the magazine was shaping up pretty well. That took most of my time among other things. It was also tough mentally with all the break-ups and rejections and more conflicts(this time I was at the centre of one too, the other guy had gone too far) around me. Also the era of free SMSing was beginning to come to an end.

The rest of it was much the same as the previous one. The magazine was launched. We were very excited and proud and happy. But we were soon disappointed by the lack of interest. The buzz we had thought it would create was nowhere to be seen. The only appreciation we got was from our friends or acquaintances. There wasn't a single genuine comment or even criticism from anyone else. Nobody cared. The holidays that followed the exams were one of the most boring two months of my life. They were more monotonous than a clock, slower than a snail, more un-eventful and longer than the life of a sea-turtle, simply frustratingly BORING! Was i glad when they were over!!

To be continued still....