Note: Long post
What was supposed to be a relaxing day off turned into a total put off. The day had gone by pretty smoothly, barring my car breaking down several times before I finally gave up and decided to take an auto-rickshaw, until around 6.30 when the call came.
It was my boss. He asked me where I was and if I was OK. He told me there were bomb blasts in the city and was just checking up on everybody. Everything just froze, including me. It was like running into a brick wall. Then there was this horrible vacuum inside me, what they call that sinking feeling. I was there just a couple of hours ago. Then I remembered that one of us had stayed back to meet another friend after all of us had left. OMG! I called her number again and again until the call was connected, the networks had jammed. Then she wouldn't pick up the phone! When you are hoping that nothing bad has happened, all the worst possible situations come to mind. Tried it a few times more then called the others to check if they had any information. They hadn't heard anything and were worried too. Panic is like a chain reaction, it just grows and gives you a headache.
She finally picked up or called back, I don't remember, and said she was fine. If it was any other day I would have shouted so much that she would be scared to pick my call next time. Then I remembered another friend had gone their with her family, but she luckily picked up on the first ring and was safe at home. With relief came the saddening news of the extent of the damage. My heart sank to new depths. I told a few people around me and they were obviously shocked. The puja had just started but I couldn't sit still. The panic hadn't subsided. I called some more people. I tried to sit down but couldn't. When there was no one left to call, I finally sat down. We were supposed to sing the verses from the book we had been given but I couldn't read beyond one line. It kept blurring and finally I gave up. Just sat there for the next two hours pretending to read and sing and I don't think I did a very good job of it.
I was actually observing the people around me. Especially the ones I knew to know about what had happened. Apart from the initial shock, there was nothing that could be put down as knowledge of such a thing. Maybe getting fully involved in the religious proceedings was their way of fighting it, but I highly doubt that. People have just come to terms with it. Bomb blasts are an everyday news to us. It's just a little more shocking when they are nearby and you think you could have been there too. I am an example too, I haven't written about any other occurrences in such detail either and I'm sure there have been plenty. We are the problem ourselves.
Until you experience it on your own, the gravity of the situation is not gauged. We blame the authorities for lack of security and proper measures to safeguard us from such mishaps and we crib about the little inconvenience that ensues due to those measures being taken and enforced. This can be put down to human psychology to an extent. But what can't be is the fact that operations of such scale cannot be undertaken without an internal hand. Where the money comes from and how it gets there is the stuff for conspiracy theorists, but how the money is used and what becomes of it is something we are responsible for.
This is an appeal to each and every one of us, we have to change ourselves first and then expect things to change for the better. You may get a hefty bribe from someone to let their cargo of smuggled goods through today, but it can come back to haunt you later like it did yesterday. Sure it was miles away from where you are, but is that any sort of solace? It could happen to any one, including you. How much money is a life worth? And we are talking about millions of lives here, unknowing innocent (at least not directly involved with the process) lives. The system is made up of all of us, so blaming it isn't a solution.
I faintly remember a line from Dan Brown's Digital Fortress, at least the idea behind it: "The guards will guard you from anything that comes in the way, but who will guard you from the guards."
May their souls rest in peace.
What was supposed to be a relaxing day off turned into a total put off. The day had gone by pretty smoothly, barring my car breaking down several times before I finally gave up and decided to take an auto-rickshaw, until around 6.30 when the call came.
It was my boss. He asked me where I was and if I was OK. He told me there were bomb blasts in the city and was just checking up on everybody. Everything just froze, including me. It was like running into a brick wall. Then there was this horrible vacuum inside me, what they call that sinking feeling. I was there just a couple of hours ago. Then I remembered that one of us had stayed back to meet another friend after all of us had left. OMG! I called her number again and again until the call was connected, the networks had jammed. Then she wouldn't pick up the phone! When you are hoping that nothing bad has happened, all the worst possible situations come to mind. Tried it a few times more then called the others to check if they had any information. They hadn't heard anything and were worried too. Panic is like a chain reaction, it just grows and gives you a headache.
She finally picked up or called back, I don't remember, and said she was fine. If it was any other day I would have shouted so much that she would be scared to pick my call next time. Then I remembered another friend had gone their with her family, but she luckily picked up on the first ring and was safe at home. With relief came the saddening news of the extent of the damage. My heart sank to new depths. I told a few people around me and they were obviously shocked. The puja had just started but I couldn't sit still. The panic hadn't subsided. I called some more people. I tried to sit down but couldn't. When there was no one left to call, I finally sat down. We were supposed to sing the verses from the book we had been given but I couldn't read beyond one line. It kept blurring and finally I gave up. Just sat there for the next two hours pretending to read and sing and I don't think I did a very good job of it.
I was actually observing the people around me. Especially the ones I knew to know about what had happened. Apart from the initial shock, there was nothing that could be put down as knowledge of such a thing. Maybe getting fully involved in the religious proceedings was their way of fighting it, but I highly doubt that. People have just come to terms with it. Bomb blasts are an everyday news to us. It's just a little more shocking when they are nearby and you think you could have been there too. I am an example too, I haven't written about any other occurrences in such detail either and I'm sure there have been plenty. We are the problem ourselves.
Until you experience it on your own, the gravity of the situation is not gauged. We blame the authorities for lack of security and proper measures to safeguard us from such mishaps and we crib about the little inconvenience that ensues due to those measures being taken and enforced. This can be put down to human psychology to an extent. But what can't be is the fact that operations of such scale cannot be undertaken without an internal hand. Where the money comes from and how it gets there is the stuff for conspiracy theorists, but how the money is used and what becomes of it is something we are responsible for.
This is an appeal to each and every one of us, we have to change ourselves first and then expect things to change for the better. You may get a hefty bribe from someone to let their cargo of smuggled goods through today, but it can come back to haunt you later like it did yesterday. Sure it was miles away from where you are, but is that any sort of solace? It could happen to any one, including you. How much money is a life worth? And we are talking about millions of lives here, unknowing innocent (at least not directly involved with the process) lives. The system is made up of all of us, so blaming it isn't a solution.
I faintly remember a line from Dan Brown's Digital Fortress, at least the idea behind it: "The guards will guard you from anything that comes in the way, but who will guard you from the guards."
May their souls rest in peace.
1 comment:
Nice and very true. I am sure even the people who have loved ones living in the cities that are being bombed are just as affected as anybody. This means that the extent of the impact of the blasts does not limit itself just to the city in which the blasts take place. The terror actually spreads nation wide and that is what the terrorists thrive on. I just don't see how people can just take lives like that on the name of jihad. May all their souls rest in peace.
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