Sincere Apologies. Finally wrote this at work today:
It's been a long time since I wrote nothing. Actually it's been a loooong time since I wrote anything. Even my blog in the real world hasn't seen me type out a single new post, even out of frustration or boredom, in over a month and a half (a new low). I have tried, more than just a couple of times, to sit down and just write something down for the heck of it, but...but...but... you catchin' my drift?
It's not like I don't have anything to write about, that's just an excuse I make when people who follow my blog ask me the reason for my absence, it's lame but it works, not always though. If I think about it, I've never had anything to write about, except nothing. Everyone of my 204 posts is a nothing in itself, it's just that back then I didn't think of them as nothing. It used to be fun, it just feels like a burden now, one that I'm not exactly carrying forward, just weighing down on me. This is, in fact, the most I've written in the last two months in one go, and already I feel like it's crap and I should delete it and start over again, but I know I won't be able to so this one is just for the heck of it.
Why this post was titled Time escapes me now. Time, is a wicked wicked thing, not the good kinda wicked either. One would like to think that things get better with time, but more often than not, they just get worse. You think you will get used to it but you end up wishing it had never happened to begin with. The past seems perfect, the future can be ignorantly blissful and the present is tense. If I could go back in time, I'm not sure I would want the memories of the elapsed time to stick or fade away. You risk making the same mistakes again but then you also can't enjoy the right moments as much as you did the first time they happened. If you do make the same mistakes again, it's inevitable, because you are who you were. It's amazing how you have to actually sit down and think about the happier things in life, as in concentrate on them to be able to smile or laugh at the memory. But the unhappy bits just keep lingering on, engulf you entirely, you have to concentrate to not think about them. It's just not fair, life, happiness is but a punctuation, a pause, a spike, an anomaly. That's why it's so over-rated. Maybe, it is fair. There are so many things you want to do, see, say that would make the future better but sometimes you just can't and then it's in the past and the future isn't as you had hoped it would be. The present is the real criminal here. Regrets and expectations are equally fruitless.
Time for a nap.
High: This post.
Low: This post.
Points: None.
It's been a long time since I wrote nothing. Actually it's been a loooong time since I wrote anything. Even my blog in the real world hasn't seen me type out a single new post, even out of frustration or boredom, in over a month and a half (a new low). I have tried, more than just a couple of times, to sit down and just write something down for the heck of it, but...but...but... you catchin' my drift?
It's not like I don't have anything to write about, that's just an excuse I make when people who follow my blog ask me the reason for my absence, it's lame but it works, not always though. If I think about it, I've never had anything to write about, except nothing. Everyone of my 204 posts is a nothing in itself, it's just that back then I didn't think of them as nothing. It used to be fun, it just feels like a burden now, one that I'm not exactly carrying forward, just weighing down on me. This is, in fact, the most I've written in the last two months in one go, and already I feel like it's crap and I should delete it and start over again, but I know I won't be able to so this one is just for the heck of it.
Why this post was titled Time escapes me now. Time, is a wicked wicked thing, not the good kinda wicked either. One would like to think that things get better with time, but more often than not, they just get worse. You think you will get used to it but you end up wishing it had never happened to begin with. The past seems perfect, the future can be ignorantly blissful and the present is tense. If I could go back in time, I'm not sure I would want the memories of the elapsed time to stick or fade away. You risk making the same mistakes again but then you also can't enjoy the right moments as much as you did the first time they happened. If you do make the same mistakes again, it's inevitable, because you are who you were. It's amazing how you have to actually sit down and think about the happier things in life, as in concentrate on them to be able to smile or laugh at the memory. But the unhappy bits just keep lingering on, engulf you entirely, you have to concentrate to not think about them. It's just not fair, life, happiness is but a punctuation, a pause, a spike, an anomaly. That's why it's so over-rated. Maybe, it is fair. There are so many things you want to do, see, say that would make the future better but sometimes you just can't and then it's in the past and the future isn't as you had hoped it would be. The present is the real criminal here. Regrets and expectations are equally fruitless.
Time for a nap.
High: This post.
Low: This post.
Points: None.
3 comments:
its not true,happiness is not a punctuation,a pause or an anomaly,it can last very long,sadness is the bitter punctuation,its not supposed to happen,and sadly it has the power to make the happiness look small like a pause..
oh n congratulations on writing something :)
looks like u can borrow my pessimism :P
and congratulate me when I write another post within a week..
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