Fresh Start

I am moving on with the times. This blog has served me well over the years but now it's time to, as they say, 'put it down'. I'm completely moving to http://ssjsid.tumblr.com effective immediately. See ya!

Hunger

No this is not the hunger for anything larger in life or something like success or happiness. This is about the actual physical hunger, the thing which makes you want to eat something, anything, just put it in your mouth and start chewing it and letting it go down to your stomach or wherever else it may want to go. That hunger for food, the most important thing known to man. Every one does whatever they do, for food. Because no matter what you do, who you are or where you are, you need food to eat. Not want, need.

Then there are those who WANT food. Like me. Every time I talk about something like this, I am reminded of this incident at school where this teacher was asking rapid fire questions to everyone in class and she asked me whether I ate to live or lived to eat. Guess what I said. I am talking about those kind of people. My kind of people. Food is not just a necessity, it's a hobby, a passion, a religion. And every meal is an event, an occasion, a celebration (when the food is good of course). Words like eating don't do justice to what we do. We enjoy, love, relish and savor our food. We like to look at pictures of it and fantasize about it so much so that we can almost taste the flavors in our mouths. I kid you not, there was this one time when I was thinking about KFC so hard that I could actually taste it! Anyways, I digress. Also, I'm very hungry right now.

Now, as I'm sure you all are aware that we have all these festivals in India. The biggest and most eventful of them (for me at least) being Holi and Diwali. Holi is known as the festival of colors. Diwali is the festival of lights. If I had to pick one out of the two, it would be a very difficult choice. Holi is short-lived whereas Diwali goes on for an entire month. Holi is crude, raw and just about having fun. Diwali is much more civilized and refined. So my vote goes to Holi just for the overwhelming fun factor when everyone lose their inhibitions in pursuit of the fun. That is the true spirit of Holi.

On the day of Holi, after you've woken up super-early to prepare your ammo of water balloons, covered yourself with lotion/oil, picked out the clothes you want to sacrifice, bravely walked out into the war-zone, had the time of your life, ran out of colors/water/energy, you decide to head back to the pavilion. This, for me, is the best time of the day. You have no energy left, you look like some failed painter's canvas but no one gives a shit because you have just enjoyed yourself to the core. You can do whatever you want to right now. Laze around, go to sleep, watch TV, go out (rare), eat whatever you want, as much as you want and no one will say anything. Those 2-3 hours are sheer bliss.

All of this was what got me thinking. People like me need a festival that is purely about food. No fancy gimmicks like colors or lights, it's just about having good food. It should last for at least two weeks, a month would be too much to handle for normal people. It would begin lightly with the addition of a meal to your daily routine - breakfast, lunch, the meal and then dinner. You have to have all four meals or the Gods will not be pleased. The meal has to be something different everyday and the fancier it is and the more you eat, the more the Gods will be pleased. On the holi day of the actual festival, when some God had held up the principles of justice and truth and good food against the evils of lies, gluttony and inedible food (that which can be found in hostel cafeterias across the world), you have to go all out and eat the things that your heart desires the most. No holds barred. Every sip and bite should fill you with pleasure and make you remember the Lord's name. You should Hero-worship Him by the end of the meal. Ah, bliss. There shouldn't be an ounce of food left over or thou shalt face the wrath of a thousand thundering typhoons.

OK, I'm hungry now.  Gotta go!

Also, food fights with bad food will be encouraged as a way of re-enacting the events of the victory of the Gods. 

End of Line

I am generally a very patient person. I like to let things take their own time. If the restaurant is particularly crowded and my order is taking time, then the reason is obvious. It's not like the waiter is making me wait for sadistic pleasure (at least I hope not, because I AM HAAANGRY). If the traffic is moving slowly and I'm in a hurry, no amount of honking will clear the road for me. The guy in front doesn't like to be stuck in the middle of the road either. When he has space to move, he will, and consequently, so will I. A watched pot never boils because no one has the required amount of patience to see it through. I don't either. After which comes a point where your mind just can't take it any more. That point is the real measure of one's patience. What it takes to drive a person beyond that point, over the edge, pushing him to take the unexpected course of action. 


It might be only trivial at times, deeming it to be an over-reaction or an outburst. But in reality, it's like being pushed against the wall, slowly, being squished between the wall and the pressure that is pushing you down, like one of those traps Batman always used to find himself in. This pressure builds up over time and when it reaches the point of unbearable pain, you will scream in pain. It can start with as small a thing as a joke gone bad or an awkward moment, lead to a bad first impression and then snowball into you not being able to stand the sight of that person. Anything they do or say will just push you further against the wall, inching you closer to the threshold point.


The most difficult form of patience is practiced while dealing with loved ones. The process is much slower, much harder to bear and requires the most amount of self-restraint. You can pretend to not care about the little things and the small mistakes, but they too pile up like the dirty laundry. There's just no escaping it. Except perhaps if you wash it more often. Don't let it linger or pile up, make clear your problems and discontent with the other party as and when it happens and hope for a fresh start. No pressure, no pushing and no pain. Simple, right? Wrong. While I was happily washing your laundry, you have collected a whole pile of mine because of the constant nagging and complaining. So one way or another, it is going to happen. You can just hope the laundry bag is too big or try not to mess up your clothes too much. 

	Daft Punk - End Of Line .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

P.S. - This post didn't turn out the way I had it in my head, which I don't remember now because I was lazy and dragged it on weeks. 

It's only human

We were not created to be the same. We are not meant to be the same. We were created differently. We are meant to be different. These differences are what makes us human. It is both a gift and a curse. It has given us some of the greatest artists and some of the greatest anarchists as well (and sometimes both are the #sameguy). But what it has given us the most is something so simple yet so difficult to understand - right and wrong, good and bad, black and white...so much so that everything is grey. 

The more I think about it, the clearer it becomes. To me at least. And that's the whole point. What may seem as clear as a bright sunny day to me might seem like a foggy winter morning to someone else. Something that makes me jump out of my skin with horror may not even bother someone else enough to get a reaction out of them. What I may see as beautiful and elegant may look grotesque and ugly to another. Music to my ears, noise that makes his ears bleed. A combination of different flavors just the thought of which makes my mouth water, an abomination which makes someone else's stomach turn. You get the idea, I hope, because it's quite possible that you didn't. 

So everyone is different, but some are more different than others. (Mostly) Everything is distributed normally, i.e. the maximum number of people agree with what can be termed as "common sense" and there is a decreasing variation on either side of this view. These cases range from the 'slightly different' to the 'poles apart' in their thinking. This variation is a result of who that person is and what he thinks. So, while you might encounter people who agree with you, the people who don't agree are not doing it intentionally. They are different, and they see, hear and understand things differently. Hence, they think and act differently. 

I can't help but believe that this is why all conflicts occur. If only we could see the other person's point of view, we would understand the reason behind the friction. A little thing called empathy does go a long way to help you do that, but it isn't enough. Empathy is a tough not to crack, the hardest part of which is to be able to control your own emotions. Having someone disagree with you is not a pleasant thought for (almost) anybody. Instinct tells me to correct and defend rather than introspect and comprehend. And it is all downhill from there. So is my train of thought, dammit!

What I'm trying to get to is that common sense is uncommon not because people are idiots, but because they are different and it doesn't occur naturally to them. The same applies to you and me as well. Instead of trying to understand the reasons behind the conflict, understanding the people behind those reasons is important, according to me at least. 

Source: Ads Of The World

P.S. - Somehow this pic made sense to me for this post. But I'm not sure if it will to other people. Just illustrating a point. 

Away

Home sweet home. There is no place like home. Home is where the heart is. The heart knows not what it wants. The head is messing with the heart, the heart is playing with the head. The head wants to know what it wants. The heart won't let it decide. Bottleneck. Conflict. Frustration. Despair. Detachment. Delusion. Lost.

Mental block. Heaviness. Burden. Careless. Carefree. There just aren't enough adjectives and adverbs. Just blank somethings and punctuation marks. Where is the heart? At home. Where is home? A place where you want to be. In somebody's arms, with not a care about the world. In the depths of someone's eyes, wanting to drown, deeper. Running though a field of dreams, with green grass and blue skies, holding someone's hand. Away from everything else, everyone else. Except that someone.

Talk without talking. Walk miles without tiring. Keep looking at her without thinking, about anything. Just be. And feel the magic. Of being together. Forever. Until the clock runs out. And you wake up. And the dream has been taken away. Bringing you even closer. To the heart.

Everything

There is just so much to do in this world. So much to see, to look at and wonder, to witness the beauty of, to imagine. So much to listen, to hear the things people say, to understand the meaning of, to immerse yourself into. So much to feel, to touch someone's heart, to be touched by a thought, an image or just some words written somewhere. So much to think about, so much to do, so much to think about doing.

If you just pick something and run with it, you run the risk of missing out on the rest. If you choose something and pursue it, you choose not to pursue the the rest. If you let things run their course and wait for something to happen, you are always waiting for something to happen, missing out on something you don't know about or possibly everything that you do know about. There just doesn't seem to be a way to do everything. You just have something you did, and then there's the rest. That something can be your everything, or it can be your something out of everything without the rest. It is what you make of it, and that will make what you are.

So much to do, so little time.

Not much to do, too much time.

So much time, so much to do.

Does Time always win? Looks like it. Take it one moment at a time, add what you did to your everything, do something else and leave the rest. Pause, play, shuffle, repeat. Change the tone a bit, let your hair down, pick yourself up, slow things down, watch stuff happen, take a shot, loosen the grip, hold it back, go the distance, open the doors, see the light, take a look back, let it flow, on and on, again and again.

Back from the dead

Nearly five months! That is how long it took me to come back to my senses and write another post. The reasons for my absence are few and far-fetched, made-up even (read laziness and a general lack of blood flow to the thinking centers of the brain), so I will not delve into the cobwebbed corners of my cranium and indulge you in 'my crap'. Now, seeing as we have dealt with the elephant in the room, I request you to forget that this five month long hiatus really happened. *poof*

Like I said in the post about the Battle of the Serpentonian Sea-Lions and the Baboon battalions from Bluebumberg, it's all about making the right choices. But how do you know what the right choice is before facing the consequences? Put simply, you don't. The only thing that you know is which choice makes you happier at that point of time. OK, before this turns into a monologue by the Oracle/Architect, what I'm trying to establish is a firm ground for justifying the choices that I've made in the recent times.

I rank my decision-making capabilities second to the dog that was sent into space by the Russians. I suppose he was a smart dog, probably one of the smartest dogs they ever had, and he was trained well too. But once you go out into the endless vacuum of space, what kind of choices are there to make? Especially if you are a canine. Pretty ordinary ones I should guess. I'm good with those, but anything above that level it just goes downhill for me. And for people affected by those decisions. I'm really sorry all, as you can see I have confessed my sins. Regret the inconvenience.

Enough with the emo-psycho babble. Not much has changed in the past five months, not even the labels of my posts. But things are looking up (x fingers crossed x). Hopefully this is one of many more posts to follow soon.

High: Getting out of Mysore soon.

Low: Where did everybody go?

Points: 1000 points to this super-cool dad! The music gets another 1000 too.

Mini-Deadmau5 from Michael Cobra on Vimeo.

Black

Darkness. All around. As far as the eyes could see. And beyond. Total absence of light. Absolute. The only discernible things being the ground beneath your feet and the air you breathe. Heavy, invisible. Not even your own body. Total darkness. Like a conciousness floating in space. You know it's there, you can feel it, but you can't see it. Seeing is believing. You walk with, what you think are, your hands groping the emptiness, searching for boundaries, something other than yourself to touch. Nothing. You shout, your voice travelling ever so far without even a glimpse of a reflection. Nothing. You walk around in every direction looking for an end.

Nothing happens.

Time goes by, you don't know how much.

You decide to give up. You want to wake up from this nightmare. You decide to wait for the lights to turn back on. You want to stop being afraid.

Nothing happens.

Time goes by, you don't know how much.

Then suddenly, a sound. A ringing sound. Growing louder and more violent with each passing moment. And then, there was light. Lots of it. And sweat, all over your body. Your happiness, dwarfed only by relief. Your body, still the way you remember it, visible. The walls, tangible, visible and in every direction. Relief, almost tangible. You decide to get hold of your bearings. You want to shake it off, wait for it to sink in.

Time goes by, you don't care how much.

Nothing happens.

Everything remains. The relief still overwhelming. Everything seems wonderful. Even the smallest, simplest and othewise most insignificant. It just seems alive. You have a bounce in your step. Happiness starts to take over. Everything falls into place. The sky is blue. The grass is green. The leaves rustle in the wind. The people smile and laugh. The world is a better place.

Time goes by, you don't care how much.

Nothing happens.

Then suddenly, a sound. A ringing sound. Growing louder and more violent with each passing moment. Piercing through your ears. The people disappear, the winds change, the leaves fall, the grass withers, the sky darkens. The pain, too hard to bear. Your head, ready to explode.

And then, there was darkness. All around. As far as the eyes could see. And beyond.

Nothing happens.

Time goes by, you don't know how much.

That's it

After a long long time, I felt like writing something down. And that's it. I actually don't have anything to write about right now. Part of the reason for my absence from this place, the other part being a total absence of interest. I even reached a point where I thought of deleting this damn thing! But unlike some people I just don't have the heart to do it. I mean I spent a lot of time on this thing and it holds a lot of memories, both good and bad, some even ugly.

What have I been up to lately? Nothing really. Sometimes work and that's about it. Bah! I didn't think it was possible but I'm actually bored of the telly. There's nothing of any interest whatsoever, just a bunch of TRP spinning crap. Music channels don't have any music, news channels don't have any news, movie channels are in a re-run cycle for the record books, sports has had an overdose of T20, the kind that kills you. The only solace is my laptop, a bunch of good movies and tv shows like HIMYM and 2 1/2 Men. Books? Is that what kids are calling it nowadays? No? Then i haven't heard of it. I gotta get me one of those.

My latest obsession is to do with spending money, a lot of it in a single transaction. Just bought a new phone for my brother and since then have been lusting after one for myself too. Have done extensive research on the subject and have it narrowed down to a couple of choices with the usual issues, one is available but a tad expensive and the one that falls within the bracket is not out yet. And I even know that as soon as I buy one, a better and cheaper one is gonna hit the stands. Boohoo!

The person to whom I was narrating this dilemma told me to do something nasty to myself, forget about getting a phone and buy something useful which I don't already have, like a camera. I remember how badly I wanted one and just the thought of it has made me flush the phone research down the drain. Back to the drawing board and I've already made pretty good progress. I hereby solemnly swear to buy a camera and only a camera for my next single high valued transaction instead of a shiny new phone or any other gadget like an iPod, which is totally awesome by the way and my preferred mode of writing blog posts these days, like this one right here. I prefer it over the normal keyboard because it's slower and gives me more time to think about what I want to write, sometimes even stretching over a period of days, and did I mention that it's awesome? You should buy one, and once you've used it to your heart's content, jailbreak it and then use it at a whole new level!

OK this post has been brewing in the notes of my pod for almost 4 days now, and within that time I've gone from being phone obsessed to camera crazy! Phones don't require even close to the same amount of research that a camera requires. It is literally a pain in the neck if you are on a fixed budget, even if you're not it's still pretty damn confusing!

OK well over 6 days now and I think enough is enough. BTW, bought the camera :D

Shot in the dark

A sliver of light in the distance, illuminating the soul and the path to freedom. There is nothing but absolute darkness, the unknown, in between. Courage to step forward is brewing up inside, while fear trickles down, tightening its grip and weighing down the mind. The heart races, pumping blood to every inch of the body, egging it on. The eyes widen, searching for the way out, so eager to bask in the glory of the mysterious light. The hands curl up, sweaty from wiping the forehead, uncertain, fingers digging into the palms, trying to stop shaking. The darkness looms far and wide, the light ever so distant. The legs go numb, knees start to buckle under the weight, the head starts to bow down in resignation, the eyes shut close, holding back the teary floods, arms rise up in a cry for help, ready to concede defeat.

At that exact moment, a whisper echoes through the nothingness, a familiar voice resonating with words of encouragement, of hope. Words that seem to contain the wisdom of ages, the strength of the gods and the courage of a warrior. Fear begins to lose its hold, the darkness begins to lose its depth and the light begins to seem closer. As the body rises up again, the eyes looking down into the emptiness, head held high, the crack widens. Light filters through, piercing through the blackness, forcing its way into the heart, its warmth running through the veins now, waiting for the first step.

A single, small step forward, in the dark, and the path to illumination is lit, forever.

High: This post.

Low: Have to study :(

Points: To whoever they may concern.

Image source: dealing with vagaries

Comic Capers

Who is the man with a brain faster than a computer?

If your answer to this question was Chacha Chaudhary, then you’re probably a fan and should be figuring out by now what this article is going to be about OR you’re just familiar with the most famous character of the Indian Comic industry. Either way, since you have come so far, we suggest that you read on further before we tell Sabu that you’re friends with Raka (we really don’t want any more volcanic eruptions on Jupiter).

“Sigh…those were the days.”

Did you just say that to yourself? Well, you are not alone then. Who doesn’t want to relive the good old days of childhood innocence when you could run around all day with not a worry to bother you and just 50p or Re1 for renting the new Nagraj or Super Commando Dhruv adventure or finding out how Suppandi is getting into trouble or what kind of mischief are Billoo and the gang up to. Indian comics have come a long way since then.

It began in the 60s when Phantom and Mandrake were introduced to Indian households by Indrajal Comics. In 1967, Anant Pai (known to Tinkle readers as simply Uncle Pai) came up with Amar Chitra Katha (ACK) which earned him the title of Father of Indian comics. As the name suggested, it was about timeless tales from Indian mythology (Ramayana, Mahabharata), folklore and other historical characters of prominence (Birbal, Panchatantra). Following closely were Chacha Chaudhary and other creations of Pran under the banner of Diamond Comics. Tinkle and Champak were more like educational magazines, carrying stories with morals, puzzles and reader contributions etc. In the 80s we got our very first brand of local superheroes, courtesy Raj Comics, in the form of Nagraj, Super Commando Dhruv, Bhokal and many others. Together these comics managed to capture the imagination of millions of kids and became household names.

The story behind Amar Chitra Katha is particularly poignant. The comic series was started by Anant Pai in an attempt to teach Indian children about their cultural heritage. He was shocked that Indian students could answer questions on Greek and Roman mythology but were ignorant of their own history, mythology and folklore. At the height of its popularity, in the mid-eighties, it had been translated into Bengali, Marathi, Assamese, Gujarati, Punjabi, Kannada, Telugu, Tamil, Sanskrit and Urdu and selling half a million copies a month. Some titles were also translated into French, Spanish, German, Swahili, Fijian, Indonesian, and Serbo-Croat! To an extent, these books, with their homogenized and unbiased character descriptions went a long way in promoting national integration.

The character of Nagraj is believed to be inspired by mythological Ichchhadhaari Naags (shape shifting snakes). His stories serve a rich blend of mythology, fantasy, magic and science fiction. Many of Nagraj's fans believe that over time Nagraj's comics have developed a Snake Mythology of its own which is unique to the popular Indian beliefs about snakes prevalent among the masses. Nagraj’s origins were quite humble as he was endowed with relatively ordinary powers and often faced human enemies. It is ironic that Nagraj has now been transformed into a mythical-magical creature facing fantastical creatures as his enemies, with elements of sorcery/magic and even time and space travel. Many cite this as a reason for the continuous, meteoric rise in popularity of Nagraj Comics, something purists scoff at!

Many of these comics have really made an attempt to change with the times. The original comics are now reprinted in sleeker and more durable editions, with thick cardstock covers and better colour separations. Raj Comics also seems to have taken a page out of DC and Marvel Comics’ stories with the creation of a Raj Universe for its super-heroes just like DC and Marvel Universes. It has also gone online and hosts a discussion forum for die hard fans, with a section completely devoted to Nagraj. ACK has also undergone some serious evolution. ACK-Media (its holding company) has recently partnered with iRemedi Corp to deliver ACK comics on the iPhone platform. Popular ACK Titles may be directly purchased from Apple's iTunes Appstore.

The comics industry, like most other things in the modern world, is mainly an American mainstay. Superman, Batman and the likes are household names all over the world. But they didn't become famous overnight, the process has spanned decades. Constantly reinventing themselves with the changing times they have managed to maintain a loyal fan base, age no bar. They have learnt to cater to the different needs, from the campy to the refined, from the colourful to the dark. Supported by big-screen adaptations and other forms of media, their popularity has only faltered to be taken to new heights every time. Comics have evolved into Graphic Novels, which has injected new life into the medium and given a whole new dimension to storytelling.

But that's all in the west. The Indian Comic industry hasn't really moved forward in the direction of creating a global appeal or maintaining their fan base or luring new readers. Granted that they are still very popular but are still a far distance away from what they can be. A dhoti-clad Spiderman wasn't enough so clearly it's not about Indianizing everything. What might work is taking the purely Indian appeal of the characters we have right now and giving them an international makeover.

There has been talk of an animated Nagraj adaptation for the big screen for a few years now and even a movie based on the character of Doga (to be directed by none other than Anurag Kashyap!), but we hope it is not a case of too little too late.

Note: This is an article I wrote for a monthly newsletter at work. Actually, co-wrote with Adeeb.

High: Nothing in particular.

Low: Need more sleep.

Points: To Viru and DD gang for great going in the IPL, excluding the last match. Buck up guys!

Funny stuff

Somethings simply crack you up and you end up doubling up with laughter. A lot of "up"s for one sentence, but never mind. The last occasion I can recall took place just last weekend when everyone had come over to our place for the usual Friday night celebration. We ended up playing 'Teen Patti' until the wee hours of the morning (who came up with that term anyway? wee hours...) and man was it fun. A few of the guys aren't that familiar with the game and since we weren't playing for real money, one of them decided to go all-in, many times over, and losing almost every time. So now he owes three guys a lot of money. Surprisingly he manages to win a handsome amount in one hand and decides to pay people off. The guy he owes almost 750 bucks takes everything and starts paying off the other guys with the loot. You might not find it as funny but after distributing it among the other guys, he was only left with 5 bucks for himself. 5 out of 750 paid off! That just put everyone in a fit of laughter and how my stomach ached! Took me almost 5 minutes to stop laughing and even now I do the proverbial LOL when I think about it.

Another incident that sticks out in my memory is that from college. We were sitting near the flag post and somehow a discussion on VS Naipaul's true nationality sprung up and I don't think I've ever laughed harder in my life (the details for this section have been edited for public interest).

Then there are these really bad PJs that are so bad that they're awesome! Allow me to demonstrate (only people familiar with Hindi would get some of these jokes, am too lazy to translate so please ignore what you don't understand):

1. A couple is sitting on the stairs, staring into each other's eyes and suddenly they find themselves in the middle of a desert. How come? - "Aankhon hi aankhon mein ishara hogaya, baithe baithe jeene ka sahara hogaya". Get it? :P
2. Two sardars (forgive me if you're the racially sensitive kinds, but a sardar joke is a sardar joke) capture a Terrorist and give him a dice and say "If you roll a 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5, you are a dead man." The Terrorist asks "what if I get a 6?" to which the sardars smile and say "Aha! But of course you get to roll again!"
3. How do you differentiate between a Murga and a Murgi? - Hurl a stone at it, bhaga to murga, bhagi to murgi. :D
4. This is one of my ultimate favorites: There is an elephant couple, Dumpa and Dumpy. One fine day, Dumpa dumps Dumpy so he becomes very sad. Dumpy's friend Pumpy comes along and asks him "Why are you down in the dumps? Let's go and play in the park". So they go to the park and sit on opposite ends of the see-saw. But alas, it breaks and both of them fall down. What is the moral of the story? - "See-saw ho ya dil ho, aakhir toot jaata hai..." :D :P

UPDATE: Due to public interest and contributions, here are a few additions:

1. Manas says: Why are all the girls standing on the bridge madly in love?
   Because "Jo hai albela, mrignaino wala, uski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala, woh kisna hai"
2. Vivek says: There was a pregnant lady carrying a miraculous baby girl inside her. The girl could see what was going on outside and even see the future. One day the girl saw a lady called Sapna driving a Tata Nano. Sapna was also pregnant with a baby boy. The girl could tell that this boy would become her boyfriend in the future. Now, what did the girl start singing? - (**brace yourself**) - "NANO mein Sapna, Sapna mein Sajna, Sajna pe dil aayega, O Sajna pe dil aayega" :P :P :P

Disclaimer: I can not be held responsible for any kind of brain damage. You came, you saw the words "really bad PJs" and still decided to read on.

High: Danced my arse off after ages. Was so tired, couldn't even eat!

Low: Some people just don't get it.

Points: To me, if you laughed while reading this post.

Killing time

So I got a new laptop from the office (Toshiba M900 Portege 13" Core i5 etc etc for those who care to know) recently. Have become so used to the 16 and 17 inchers at home that this is like a palmtop, but it gets the job done so I'm not really complaining. The real problem is when after working on this one for a while, you look at the big boys and it's like "Whoa!". Similarly for the other way round. OK, I just read the first few lines again and just for the record, I'm talking about screen sizes in case any of you start getting other ideas. You know who you are, give it a rest.

Watched London Dreams, Facing Ali and American Gangster over the past three days. All were good. London Dreams could have had a better ending though, too abrupt and happy. Facing Ali was educational and inspirational, especially liked the bit with George Chuvalo when he talks about his life, family and love. American Gangster was long, but good. An honest cop who turns in a million dollars in unmarked cash is still a little unbelievable though.

Other than that just wasted time over the weekend. Slept a LOT. Discovered twitter and why some people are addicted to it while watching the Filmfare awards. Other than that, wasted time in a variety of ways. Wait, I already wrote that. Guess I'm out of stuff to write.

High: New laptop.

Low: Can't tell.

Points: To Kritz for recommending this:

iRepeat

I usually hate repetitive stuff. Especially when someone keeps saying the same thing over and over again to drive the point home or out of habit orjust having nothing better to do in the pathetic excuse of a life. "WE GET IT! We got it the first time! Jeez! Shut up already!" These are some of the things going through my head, the rest are censored for good measure (and to let you exercise your imagination, go crazy!).

Anyways, before I completely stray from the topic I intend to pursue, let's talk about the repetitions of the good kind. The things you never get tired of, or almost never at least. There are a few things in everyone's life which never get old, outdated or boring. No matter how many times you watch a particular movie, it still makes you laugh or cry or both. No matter how many times you listen to a song, read a book, look at a picture/painting, or even just think about something that had happened in the past, if still manages to bring a smile to your face and invoke the same ol' familiar feeling of aewesomeness which made you fall in love with that particular thing in the first place.

Keep as many of these things as you can hold on to because they come in handy in trying times and can be the key to your sanity.

(Note: I'm not in a happy mood these days, if you are implying that from the nature of the recent posts. I'm just bored of writing about being frustrated.)

High: Jailbroke my iPod. It's even more awesome now!

Low: Refer note above.

Points: To God, aka Sachin. Proud to be alive to see you work your magic.

Enough frustration

Remember the last time you laughed so hard that it hurt. Remember the last time you couldn't stop smiling even in full public view because you just couldn't get your mind off that little something done by that special someone. Remember the days when you ran around the house, in the streets, just about anywhere because you felt like it and you could. Remember the time when you splashed muddy water from the puddles on the road after the rain which you had just showered in. Remember the time when you were excluded from all conversations which contained talk of bad and sad things. Remember the time when the only thing you wanted when you went somewhere was a balloon and a bar of candy. Remember the day when you rode a bicycle unassisted for the first time. Remember your first best friend. Remember the first time you felt your heart skip a beat on looking at a girl/boy. Remember the moment when your folks were so proud of you, they couldn't resist hugging and kissing you in public. Remember the first time you wrote a diary. Remember the moment you found out that you were good at something. Remember the first book you read and loved so much that you wanted to read another. Remember when you went to bed without a wrinkle of worry on forehead. Remember the day you realized you could pen your thoughts on paper. Remember your first blog post and how you felt after writing it.

Now take that smile on your face, look in the mirror and remember it. Have a good night/day.

High: If you smiled after reading this.

Low: If you didn't.

Points: To God, for the simple pleasures of life. And to Nandu for reminding (2nd para) me about them.

Image Source: Matt Anderson Photography (click image).

Love or Arranged?

It is the wedding season once again, this time more than ever. Me and my peer group are now in the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes zone and there is always talk of someone you know or someone you know only through someone else getting married. It's not even surprising anymore, the first two came as shocks I'll admit, but now we're used to it.

Without getting into the age old debate of love vs arranged form of marriage, I want to move on to something else which is equally important - what you love doing vs what you have to do. Some people are lucky enough to be working where they want to and doing what they enjoy most. I say lucky because they got the opportunity and pounced on it, some had the guts to take the risk, while there are some who made it happen for themselves. I have only admiration and jealousy for these people, wish I was among you.

A big part of getting there depends on knowing what you really really want to do. That is the first and most important step, which, being completely honest, I have not been able to do till date. To borrow from an old cliche, I'm still searching for my true calling, but, being completely honest again, I haven't been doing that either. Does that suck or what!

I had realized that I'm not a hard working type long ago, unless it's something I like doing. I've been handed everything on a plate and I have become used to it. I haven't had to work hard for anything be it getting good grades in school or getting into a decent college and passing out in the stipulated time or even getting a job. Until now. Keeping the job requires a level of dedication and effort which I'm not averse to. Losing the job is an exaggeration, it's more like being left behind/confined to the lower rungs of the success ladder. The competition is way ahead of me and I'm not doing enough to stay in the race. It's not the same as it was in college where I didn't care about the race because I had better things to do than studying. It matters now, I feel bad when I'm left behind. And it's a pretty bad way to realise that you suck. Enough cribbing, I should get to work.

High: Not that bad a day at work.

Low: Sigh. I sigh a lot, don't I?

Points: Don't know, you decide.

Just another day

No sign of chocolates or flowers or stuffed toys or pink or anything remotely close to reminding me about what today is supposed to be famous for. It was just another ordinary Sunday. No gifts to be bought, no lunch dates to attend, no women to please, just a bunch of single guys hanging out together. All in all, not that bad a day. (Kritz did ask me to be her valentine, which I gratefully accepted, but she was caught up in homework and midterms so I guess she didn't mind me not taking her out (I'll make it upto you darling, I promise). Technically, it counts as not being single :P)

Saw "My name is Khan" today and for the life of me can't fathom the reason, apart from big money, for people giving it such exceptionally high ratings. The first half was nothing short of torture to me. Karan Johar tries to make a grown-up flick but can't resist doing what he does best in the first half - corny, cheesy and mushy to the point of making me want to scream inside a packed cinema hall. The acting was good, I know the autism thing is a sensitive topic, but seriously it felt like SRK was a bit over the top in places. Nothing unusual about that now, is there. It picked up in the second half and thankfully did not dip throughout. I couldn't find anything to cry about though, I'd heard people have cried a lot (I do occasionally shed a tear or two while watching really good movies). My favorite part is when he goes to the mosque and stops the evil doctor from brainwashing innocent young minds. That was brilliant, how such a big misconception can be resolved by even the simplest of minds. In conclusion, it was the Bollywood version of Forrest Gump, could've been better though. And thank you KJo for not putting in any song and dance routines, must have been tough to control the urge with both SRK and Kajol in the same frame (can forgive you for the wedding one, force of habit we know). For the record, "My name is Sid, and I did not like MNIK that much".

Was supposed to post this last night but fell asleep. Just got off a bus to the office after my daily dose of (physio)therapy. 15 minute walk to my cabin in the scorching heat, soaked in sweat, tired and sleepy already. It's going to be a long day.

It was a long day. Didn't do much either. I think the medicine I'm taking is sleep inducing or it could just be the boring slides I was supposed to study or just the usual post-lunch drowsiness. On my way home now, in a bus which feels like it'll break into two halves on the next speedbreaker. It was rattling like a bird-cage and shaking so much that I couldn't even type.

Back home now, just as I was about to log on, guess what? Have to wait another hour or so now to just publish this! Hmph!

High: Dinner. Proper roadside van style noodles in the food court. Reminded me of home.

Low: The rest of the day, except for a 30 second phone conversation.

Points: XOXOX points to Kritz. Miss you!

Broken

I've always been sort of destructive, not by choice but by chance. I have been responsible for more broken glass items than the number of pieces you would expect a broken glass to yield. My folks used to curse the stars (moon, planets etc) and tried to keep away from breakable stuff. They should have tried harder.

As I grew up, the ailment matured into something else. It got bored of breaking other stuff so it got to work on my own body. And man it hurts. There isn't a joint on my body that doesn't have a scar or chronic pain to show for it. Some accidents are not my fault, it was just being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Like when I was run over by a car from behind, have a bent vertebra in my backbone as proof. Then there were these pedestrians who stopped dead in the middle of the road while I was approaching on a bike. But the injuries that hurt most are the ones which are a result of stupidity. For the sake of avoiding public humiliation on multiple counts, I will recount only the most recent and stupidest incidents. I was taking off my pants, my foot got caught and I fell sideways. I used my left hand to break the fall, but the wall was a bit too far and it just buckled under all the weight and momentum. The pain!

So both my shoulders are partially out of service and are undergoing physiotherapy at the moment. Bloody 3k down the drain too. There's nothing else left to break now so I hope I don't.

High: Got NFS Most Wanted again. Love that game.

Low: Have to go the hospital everyday at 9am and do an hour of physiotherapy for 8 more days.

Points: -1000 points to me.

Bad, bad world?

Is the world so bad? I mean, being a cynic, I would love to say that it is and, to a large extent, believe that it is too. But there are parts of me that want to believe that all is not bad and ugly, parts that want me to trust people, even complete strangers. I just want to be able to walk out of my house in the middle of the day or in the dead of the night to take a walk without having to worry about have I locked the door and closed all the windows properly or not. If I leave my vehicle unlocked or forget my keys, is it absolutely improbable that by the time I get back it would not be there? Small things like these are always playing at the back of my mind, I guess everyone's, and this makes life a little more difficult than it already is. I know it's impossible to be able to do that, but how wonderful it would be if it were possible. I'm drawing a blank again now. Sigh.

High: Not that bad a Sunday.

Low: High. Sigh. Also, have lost all interest in sports.

Points: To anyone who can suggest an awesome movie to watch, 1000 points.

Update: Felt like posting a pic, flickr gave this when I searched for New Zealand. Sigh. Droooool. Sigh. Will post link to original soon, blogging from iPod.

(click to enlarge, it's awesome)

Image source: /\ltus

Desperate measures

I’m sick of this. I’m sick of not being able to write anything. I’m sick of not wanting to write when I actually decide to write. I’m sick of checking how many days since I last posted something and then going “Dammit! I need to write something!” and then deciding to write something and then not wanting to write after I actually decided to write and going “Sigh, I don’t have anything to write, will try again later”, and sulking about it later. I’m just sick of all of it. I even read my own blog and went “Man I could write!”. I didn’t need to have ‘something happen to me’ to want to write about it. I just wrote, without thinking about what I was going to write. And it turned out OK, even great on occasion (yes I’m vain, I love my own writing, that’s why I’m so depressed about not being able to write anything in the first place, so think of something else to comment on!). And here comes the block.

The last paragraph was written in a little under 5 minutes tops, I guess, and this sentence has taken 2 already! It’s not like I haven’t written anything at all, but what I did manage to write, I hated it. It was corporate crap about company growth, conducive learning environments, collaborative efforts to further knowledge acquisition and dissemination, corporate social responsibility, consistency in competency development activities, cultivating resources like centers of excellence, campus connect etc. to become a change agent for the future and help the continuing growth of the company to take it to an even higher pedestal of excellence. This is just a summary of the 1300 word story I wrote which contained more of the same crap (makes me cringe and want to crawl into a crevice inside a cave deep inside some lost canyon somewhere). The icing on the cake was that people actually liked it. For crying out loud, it could’ve been written by using a script that automatically inserted prepositions and punctuations between entries generated by a random bullshit generator! To put the cherry on top of the icing, I had to CC it to my boss along with the people who provided inputs, so that I could get review comments on grammar and punctuation. Well cut me balls off, chew me guts out, chastise me ass in public or strap me cranium to the chair, come what may, me shall not accept suggested corrections of said nature from the likes of thee (FYI punctuations are used to clearly indicate separate thoughts and ideas, not used to decorate sentences based on their length).

Wow! That felt so good! Let's do that again! Or not. So what else was I going to talk about? Oh yeah this newsletter thing at work for which I wrote all that corporate crap. After a long long time I actually enjoyed work. It was kinda like working on FreeRad but it just wasn't the same without the others. Still it was good fun, got to know Prachi a little better in the process as she helped me keep it all together, otherwise would've lost it completely because it's just too much work for one person. And both of us despise the senior authorities equally so we had something in common to have a laugh about too. Advise to people working in teams - being a part of the team is a big achievement in itself. There are some people who go to great lengths to show that they are better than the rest, they do more than others and think that they deserve extra credit. Actions speak louder than words, keep that in mind. You going about advertising how good you are is not even remotely as effective as someone else appreciating your efforts. These are the people from your team, who don't like you one bit right now. And you are not helping your case, it just gets worse everyday. Hope you learn a thing or two soon enough or you're going to hell, that too alone.

I was supposed to post this day before yesterday but somehow couldn't. Had so much more to say, hopefully will remember in time for the next post, provided there is one. Fingers crossed. Later.

High: Getting there, another round or two should do the trick.

Low: First para.

Points: 22k something points to me for providing an "EnRiching" experience to everyone in Infy. To Prachi and Santanu also. Cheers.